Avatar: A Review

January 14, 2010

I finally caved and went to see Avatar.  It certainly didn’t live up to any of the hype I had heard from some friends, but it also wasn’t as awful as I initially thought it would be.  The general consensus everywhere by everyone seems to be that it’s the most amazing movie ever made, ever.

Friend #1: Holy wow. Avatar. Just… … … Just go see it. Like, as soon as possible.

Friend #2: saw Avatar 3D last nite. Highly, highly suggest seeing it! Seriously, and I was one of those people who said I had no interest in seeing this movie. It was phenomenal!

Friend #3: I think we’re all in agreement that it was awesome. The 3D was very well done, sound effects work was amazing, and overall, great.

So, I can clearly relate more to friend #2 as I had very little interest in the movie itself.  I was only really interested in seeing it since it is, after all, the first huge Hollywood extravaganza meant to showcase the 3D platform.  So when I say that it comes as no surprise that there was very little story driving the movie, I’m not exaggerating in the least.  To be fair, I can’t sit here and say that it was a direct copy of any one movie (as has already been hilariously described), but instead it pulled from so many.  Now, again, I understand that this is generally how things are done in Hollywood…but Avatar pulled so unsubtly that it was disturbing.  It was Pocahontas meets Dances With Wolves meets The Lion King (which of course itself is a rip off of Kimba the White Lion), meets Fern Gully, meets James Cameron’s own Aliens.  Heck- even the epic battle had what I’d most certainly describe as a Final Fantasy moment [see: YouTube video ~0:30].

Yes, that’s it.  I think, in the end, the main reason I will remember Avatar as a lack-luster movie is because it felt like a video game cut-scene gone on for far too long.  Sure it looks beautiful, but wouldn’t you rather just play the game even if it means putting up with crappier graphics?

As for the good point(s).  The whole 3D thing looks pretty great.  I personally found it to be much cooler when used in the slower scenes versus the action sequences.  It wasn’t that it made me queasy, it just didn’t look as good.  I will say this, too: I had an absolutely pounding headache by the end of the movie, which I will feel free to blame on the 3D glasses.

A few questions that remain:

• What was with Jake Sulley’s accent? Was he from the Bronx or London?
• Was Sigourney Weaver smoking Sector 6s a-la Thank You for Smoking?
• Did they seriously mate in what basically boiled down to their church?
• Papyrus subtitles?  Textured?  Seriously?
• Why did they have to cast Michelle Rodriguez?

In conclusion: it was OK–far from incredible–and mainly a waste of my fourth dimension.  When it’s all said and done, it’s not the pretty pictures I’ll remember, but rather the flaws that fractured the movie and kept it from being amazing.  My main consolation is knowing that I didn’t give James Cameron a dime.

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